How being autistic helped me as a parent

Being a single mom raising 3 disabled boys is hard, you would think being autistic myself would make it even harder but not for me. Being autistic has actually helped me be a better mom to my kids. Here’s how.

1.      Honest: As with many autistic people lying does not come naturally to me. In fact it’s not a concept I fully understand and therefore do not see the point to lying. Because of this when I talk to anyone especially my children I am honest with them. My boys have realized that and no matter what they ask me I will answer honestly, I will make sure to keep it age appropriate or tell them to ask me when they’re older. Since I am fully honest with them they are more open and honest with me even when they make a mistake they do tell me about it rather than try to hide it.

2.      Meltdowns: meltdowns are a part of being autistic we have them we can’t help it. They are not fun and can be very draining even painful at times. I still have them occasionally and I do not hide it from my kids. By doing this when they have their meltdowns and I say I understand they know I do.

3.      Stemming: Another autistic trait that we make fun. When mama or any of the boys start spinning, jumping, flapping, or rocking we just turn on some music and all join in. It becomes one of the most bizarre and fun dance parties.

4.      My calming place: When I get overloaded the best place for me to go is outside. This has the side effect of helping my kids have a balance between indoor tech and outdoor fun.

5.      Sensory issues: Sensory processing disorder is very common with autism. Since all 4 of us have it, including my youngest who is not autistic. We all understand it. Sometimes I have days I can’t handle wearing shoes and will do everything barefoot. So I am more open to clashing outfits and bare feet when we go out in public when one of the kids is having a high sensory day.

6.      Anxiety: This is something our entire family deals with to different degrees. Again I do not hide mine from my kids they have seen and even helped me through panic attacks. This has a 2 fold benefit. First when they have panic attacks they are more responsive to me helping them through it because they know I’ve been there myself. Second, when they help me calm they learn different calming techniques that they can use themselves when they need too.

These are just a few of the ways being autistic has helped me as a mom. Mainly it has helped me understand and relate to my children on a level not many people can. As well as helped them trust and be open with me knowing that I do truly understand what they are dealing with because I deal with it too.