Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How being autistic helped me as a parent

Being a single mom raising 3 disabled boys is hard, you would think being autistic myself would make it even harder but not for me. Being autistic has actually helped me be a better mom to my kids. Here’s how.
1.      Honest: As with many autistic people lying does not come naturally to me. In fact it’s not a concept I fully understand and therefore do not see the point to lying. Because of this when I talk to anyone especially my children I am honest with them. My boys have realized that and no matter what they ask me I will answer honestly, I will make sure to keep it age appropriate or tell them to ask me when they’re older. Since I am fully honest with them they are more open and honest with me even when they make a mistake they do tell me about it rather than try to hide it.
2.      Meltdowns: meltdowns are a part of being autistic we have them we can’t help it. They are not fun and can be very draining even painful at times. I still have them occasionally and I do not hide it from my kids. By doing this when they have their meltdowns and I say I understand they know I do.
3.      Stemming: Another autistic trait that we make fun. When mama or any of the boys start spinning, jumping, flapping, or rocking we just turn on some music and all join in. It becomes one of the most bizarre and fun dance parties.
4.      My calming place: When I get overloaded the best place for me to go is outside. This has the side effect of helping my kids have a balance between indoor tech and outdoor fun.
5.      Sensory issues: Sensory processing disorder is very common with autism. Since all 4 of us have it, including my youngest who is not autistic. We all understand it. Sometimes I have days I can’t handle wearing shoes and will do everything barefoot. So I am more open to clashing outfits and bare feet when we go out in public when one of the kids is having a high sensory day.
6.      Anxiety: This is something our entire family deals with to different degrees. Again I do not hide mine from my kids they have seen and even helped me through panic attacks. This has a 2 fold benefit. First when they have panic attacks they are more responsive to me helping them through it because they know I’ve been there myself. Second, when they help me calm they learn different calming techniques that they can use themselves when they need too.

These are just a few of the ways being autistic has helped me as a mom. Mainly it has helped me understand and relate to my children on a level not many people can. As well as helped them trust and be open with me knowing that I do truly understand what they are dealing with because I deal with it too.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Why food banks are not always a good option.

Have you ever been to a food bank? I have just this past week actually, I’m going to share what that process is like for us. First you walk in, already feeling bad because you have to go there in the first place, you sign in and they hand you a stack of papers to fill out. On these papers they want you to tell them about every penny you have received in the past two months where it came from and how you spent it, hope you keep track of it otherwise trying to remember can be challenging. Then you have to tell them about everyone who lives in your home their name, birthday, gender, marital status, hair color, blood type etc… Next you have to provide ID, Birth certificates, social security cards, proof of income, proof of residence, and hair sample for everyone in your home and if you don’t have even one thing then it’s “I’m sorry but we can’t help you” ( ok maybe you don’t have to have all of that but most of it you do and you get the idea of what it can feel like) Once you have given them all this information then you are told to have a seat in the waiting room and someone will call you. This wait can take anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours but eventually they will call you. When they do you are taken into another room where you are interviewed this is where they ask for your life story and that of your entire family and want you to explain exactly what went wrong that you ended up there oh and don’t forget you have to now verbally explain every penny you’ve ever gotten for the past 2 months and hope you remember what you wrote because it better match up. If you pass this interview then you are told to return to the previous waiting room and someone will call you if you fail then its “sorry we can’t help you at this time”. This second wait takes from 30 minutes to an hour before someone calls you to tell you your food is ready. You load it in your car and head home. Alright you’re set they gave you enough food to last awhile no worries right? Wrong, once you get home it’s time to go through what you got. The first thing you do is check the expiration dates and approximately half of everything you just got 10 minutes ago is already expired. Straight in the trash with that no one should have to feed their children expired food. It’s ok you still have enough to last a week or too that helps, but wait half of what is left will expire within the next 48 hours so much for making it last. Ok so now you look at the food with a fast approaching deadline on it and see if you can come up with a meal. Good luck you realize you have a lot of partial meals you know hot dogs no bread, peanut butter no jelly, hamburger helper no hamburger, etc… Time to get creative you end up putting a mish mash of food together making something you think is edible and hope tasted somewhat ok. At this point I hope you don’t have a situation like I do where I have 2 people in my family that have to be on special diets due to allergies and disorders and one who has food aversion. I hope this has helped you understand why telling someone to just going to a food bank isn’t always welcome sometimes it truly isn’t a good option. We can help improve this all we really need to do is pay attention to what we donate. If it is expired or will expire soon don’t donate it and if you can give all parts of a meal not just some this will help the charities if they have better things to work with they can be much more helpful to families in need.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Autism and the Apocalypse



Q: Would an autistic person survive in a post-apocalyptic world?
A: Yes, not only would they survive they would thrive. Let’s think about some of the possible traits of autism and how they would adapt for a post-apocalyptic world. Now keep in mind no one person with autism will have all these traits but all will have some.
1.      Poor social skills: It’s the apocalypse how many people are really left and how important are social skills at this point anyway? Next. Okay, let’s break down what we mean by poor social skills.
A.     Little to no eye contact: post-apocalypse, we are probably now living in the wilderness hunting and gathering to survive. Everyone and everything is viewed as a possible threat. Well natural instincts tell us that making eye contact in the wild is the same as challenging someone to a fight, so by avoiding eye contact we avoid unnecessary fights.
B.      Difficulty understanding jokes, sarcasm, or figures of speech: So we are serious people by nature we approach everything as a serious matter, and in the apocalypse everything is. When you joke and make light of the situation you are more likely to die. We stay serious and we survive.
C.      Does not share observations or experiences with others: We notice something we are keeping that info to ourselves. Who knows how long we will need supplies to last, if we find good hunting or fishing areas we keep it quiet.
D.     Will respond to social interaction but does not initiate: You want to talk to us fine we will respond, but otherwise we will just mind our own business and keep on moving. We have more important things to do than socialize like Survive.
E.      Aversion to large crowds: Anyone that watches the walking dead knows large crowds equals trouble. No thanks we’ll pass.
F.       Resistance to being touched: Good luck luring us into a false sense of security through physical contact may work well on others but not us.
2.      Behaviors: Let’s break a few of these down
A.     Obsession with objects, ideas or desires: Say our obsession is food then we will focus a lot on that and you can bet we won’t starve.
B.      Compulsive behavior patterns: Say we are a compulsive sniffer you know we smell everything. Well we will notice small changes in the scent of food that will help us know when it is starting to go bad and not eat it and therefore not get sick from it. Also we will notice changes in the scent of where we live so will know if someone or something has been there.
C.      Many and varied collections: We hoard things again we will have plenty of food and a lot of types to boot. Not to mention all the weapons and survival tools got plenty of those too.
3.      Let’s talk about our senses
A.     Sensitivity to sounds, textures, tastes, smells, and/or light: Basically heightened senses that means we will notice changes in sounds, smells, tastes, etc… sooner than most helping us with hunting and staying away from danger.
B.      Unusually high or low pain tolerance: high pain tolerance very helpful say we are running for our lives we trip we get hurt most people would be done for not us we get up and keep running as if nothing happened until we reach safety. Low pain tolerance also very helpful say we get a small superficial scratch or cut we notice it and doctor it therefore we don’t get an infection that could kill us.
Okay so I think you probably understand at this point how many of the traits of autism can be useful in the apocalypse.
Q: Would an autistic person survive in a post-apocalyptic world?
A: Hell Yes we would! We would kick the apocalypses butt. So if you find yourself face to face with the apocalypse Run don’t walk to your nearest autistic friend and you too may survive